As Sl'ers we deal with RL issues as well, some take us away for awhile. As for me. Being partnered to amazing guy, that is still grieving from a RL loss. As my RL started to crumble in March 09, around the same time so was his. He would either leave himself up or his Alt up for me to leave him messages and he would check in to see if I was on. That summer we did have a chance to meet each other and have fun. Giving him the chance to just get out and breathe for a short period of time each day. He was the best tour guide showing me his beloved city. October came around with a email, letting me know of his devastating news as me I was living more in SL. He knew I was strong enough to handle being in SL without him, being strong, supportive of him. Knowing I would wait for his return. He would pop up every couple of months, to give me tier money and spend some time with me. As the year continued. I kept busy meeting new awesome and amazing friends. Learning to do create stuff, keeping up with my modeling. Working in retail in RL, it didn't leave much time for doing Fashions Show on the weekend. I pursued my modeling career as a In-Store Model and became a Manager for Reign Congrejo over the other In-Store models.
As the months went by, I was changing as my RL was. I found how easy it was to be laughing along with friends, when I was really crying in RL. I my answer to everything was I am doing okay. Knowing that everyone has thier own issues and I didn't want to burden them with mine. I guess that is the one thing that hasn't change in me. In the back of my mind, I knew to expect he would come back changed. Being prepared for it was another story, which I found myself in August he came back. We took a step back, still being partnered and spending time together. I knew October was a few months away and he would take time off again. Mine was being upturned as I was trying to prepare to leave my RL home. It seemed as soon as I started to pack, I would get overwelmed and head into SL. I would fall sleep dancing among friends at night, wake up a few hours later to restart my day in SL. I was aware of I should be in doign stuff in RL and it was just to easy to stay in SL. It was one thing I had control over my life.
I have wonderful friends that love and support me. They will support my decision to remain partnered. They all know how much I love him. I am the realistic and the believer that and anything can happen. We may not have the type of relationship we had before and may part ways. At the same time, I feel with our deep rooted friendship, we can find love again and may be even better before. Knowing both of us are have our hearts closed for different reasons. Only time will us.
I get up each day and put on smiling face for SL. Not knowing when he will come back again. Will it be soon or year from now. Wondering thoughts of knowing at one time, thinking of me would make him smile or close his eyes being able to feel me nearby. Knowing the possibility I am not being thought of and at the same time I want to believe he is.
I dont know what tomorrov will be, as he is trying to find the end the tunnel. I am finding myself still in stuck in darkness.
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